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Coping Mechanisms

Coping Mechanisms

Coping mechanisms are the strategies people often use in the face of stress and/or trauma to help manage painful or difficult emotions. Coping mechanisms can help people adjust to stressful events while helping them maintain their emotional well-being.

WHAT ARE COPING MECHANISMS?

Significant life events, whether positive or negative, can cause psychological stress. Difficult events, such as divorce, miscarriage, the death of a loved one, or the loss of a job, can cause most people to feel grief or distress. But even events that are considered positive by many—getting marriedhaving a child, and buying a home—can lead to a significant amounts of stress. To adjust to this stress, people may utilize some combination of behavior, thought, and emotion, depending on the situation.

People may use coping mechanisms for stress management or to cope with anger, loneliness, anxiety, or depression.

HOW ARE COPING MECHANISMS AND DEFENSE MECHANISMS DIFFERENT?

Some may confuse defense mechanisms with coping mechanisms. Although these two concepts share some similarities, they are, in fact, different.

  • Defense mechanisms mostly occur at an unconscious level, and people are generally unaware they are using them. One’s use of coping mechanisms, on the other hand, is typically conscious and purposeful.
  • Coping mechanisms are used to manage an external situation that is creating problems for an individual. Defense mechanisms can change a person’s internal psychological state.

 

COPING STYLES AND MECHANISMS

Coping styles can be problem-focused—also called instrumental—or emotion-focused. Problem-focused coping strategies are typically associated with methods of dealing with the problem in order to reduce stress, while emotion-focused mechanisms can help people handle any feelings of distress that result from the problem.

Further, coping mechanisms can be broadly categorized as active or avoidant. Active coping mechanisms usually involve an awareness of the stressor and conscious attempts to reduce stress. Avoidant coping mechanisms, on the other hand, are characterized by ignoring or otherwise avoiding the problem.

Some coping methods, though they work for a time, are not effective for a long-term period. These ineffective coping mechanisms, which can often be counterproductive or have unintended negative consequences, are known as “maladaptive coping.” Adaptive coping mechanisms are those generally considered to be healthy and effective ways of managing stressful situations.

TYPES OF COPING MECHANISMS

Among the more commonly used adaptive coping mechanisms are:

  • Support: Talking about a stressful event with a supportive person can be an effective way to manage stress. Seeking external support instead of self-isolating and internalizing the effects of stress can greatly reduce the negative effects of a difficult situation.
  • Relaxation: Any number of relaxing activities can help people cope with stress. Relaxing activities may include practicing meditation, progressive muscle relaxation or other calming techniques, sitting in nature, or listening to soft music.
  • Problem-solving: This coping mechanism involves identifying a problem that is causing stress and then developing and putting into action some potential solutions for effectively managing it.
  • Humor: Making light of a stressful situation may help people maintain perspective and prevent the situation from becoming overwhelming.
  • Physical activity: Exercise can serve as a natural and healthy form of stress relief. Running, yoga, swimming, walking, dance, team sports, and many other types of physical activity can help people cope with stress and the aftereffects of traumatic events.

A short list of common maladaptive coping mechanisms includes:

  • Escape: To cope with anxiety or stress, some people may withdraw from friends and become socially isolated. They may absorb themselves in a solitary activity such as watching television, reading, or spending time online.
  • Unhealthy self-soothing: Some self-soothing behaviors are healthy in moderation but may turn into an unhealthy addiction if it becomes a habit to use them to self-soothe. Some examples of unhealthy self-soothing could include overeating, binge drinking, or excessive use of internet or video games.
  • Numbing: Some self-soothing behaviors may become numbing behaviors. When a person engages in numbing behavior, they are often aware of what they are doing and may seek out an activity that will help them drown out or override their distress. People may seek to numb their stress by eating junk food, excessive alcohol use, or using drugs.
  • Compulsions and risk-taking: Stress can cause some people to seek an adrenaline rush through compulsive or risk-taking behaviors such as gambling, unsafe sex, experimenting with drugs, theft, or reckless driving.
  • Self-harm: People may engage in self-harming behaviors to cope with extreme stress or trauma.

COPING MECHANISMS AND MENTAL HEALTH

The use of effective coping skills can often help improve mental and emotional well-being. People who are able to adjust to stressful or traumatic situations (and the lasting impact these incidents may have) through productive coping mechanisms may be less likely to experience anxiety, depression, and other mental health concerns as a result of painful or challenging events.

People who find themselves defaulting to maladaptive coping mechanisms and/or experience difficulty utilizing effective coping strategies may eventually see a negative impact on mental and emotional well-being. Those who have a difficult time knowing how to cope with anxiety, stress, or anger may fall into the habit of relying on a maladaptive coping mechanism. Consuming alcohol can often help people feel less stressed in the immediate moment, for example, but if a person comes to rely on alcohol, or any other substance, in the face of challenging situations, they may eventually become dependent on the substance over time.

If you experience stress and don’t know how to cope, a therapist or other mental health professional can often help you develop and improve your coping skills. Therapists can provide support and information about coping skills, and therapy sessions can be a safe, nonjudgmental environment for people to explore the coping methods they rely on and determine how they help or hinder stress management.

Reference

Good Therapy (2018) Coping Mechanism. Retrieved from: https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/psychpedia/coping-mechanisms

Personal Development (Passions and Ambition Pursuing)

Personal Development (Passions and Ambition Pursuing)

Personal Development is the foundation upon which every form of development (social, economic, community, national…) is built. You have to build a strong foundation to experience consistent progress and development. _RARS

Personal development is a stage by stage process everyone must go through alone if you want to feel achieved. Everyone has their own unique ways of going through this development but if we are to follow the Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, your physiological needs come first (which are the basic needs of food, water, shelter, oxygen, sex, etc.).

Next up is your safety needs (which involves feeling safe from potentially dangerous physical and psychological situations). Shelter  is one of the vital needs of safety. You must also have clothes and other needs that give you sense of security. You need to improve your emotional intelligence by practising mindfulness, getting rid of unpleasant thoughts, focusing more on positive thoughts and adopting healthy defense mechanisms. You also need to gain more effective coping mechanisms skills necessary for dealing with stress. Don’t wait til you are totally depressed before you reach out for psychological intervention. Take care of your inner being by surrounding yourself with positive people, books and learning to spend quality times with your selg meditating and reflecting. This helps you to discover your strengths and weaknesses. Knowing your weaknesses helps you to build more on your strength which will prevent you from being wasted by your weaknesses.

The third one is your need for love and belongingness (which revolves around affiliation, feeling part of a family/society, giving and receiving trust, acceptance, affection and love, etc). You must learn to give and embrace love. Give love by saying kind words to others, smile and just make others feel what you wish to feel. You are able to embrace love when you give it because while giving you are attracting situations and people that will give you the same feeling of love and affections. Don’t be too hard on yourself, don’t fall into the deceptive convention that trauma must follow every pain. Every past experience exists to teach you lessons you will need to keep surviving until you acquire more lessons. Life is all about learning and unlearning. No bad experience should teach you cruelty therefore at every point in time you must learn to care about the feelings of others. That explains you are giving affections and remember we only give things we have even though we think we don’t have them. You are not to solely rely on others for your happiness but ensure that you give that quality attention, be responsible for that happy feelings of others, you will feel more happiness yourself.

The fourth one is the esteem needs (which includes feeling competent, self esteem & self respect, the respect of others, family, at work, etc). When you have optimally met the physiological needs, safety needs and social needs, trust me you automatically feel happy, contented, fulfilled, energized and competent. You feel strong and courageous that you believe there is nothing beyond your power and ability, This is not ostentation at all, it is about naturally carrying yourself with grace and reflecting nobility. You are at peace within therefore you carry along the vibe everywhere you go. Inability to fulfill some of the needs often result into mental distress and social dysfunctions, Nevertheless the inner conflicts that resulted from inability to gratify the previous needs can be alleviated through mental health intervention such as psychotherapy, hypnosis, cognitive-behavioral therapy etc.

The last one is self-actualization (which is reaching one’s full potential and becoming everything one is capable of becoming). Once you gratify all of the previous needs, you progressively triumph in life. You are able to carefully set goals and achieve them. You set your standards and live life according to your terms without being pressured by the noise of the society. Success for everyone is relative and this stage defines it better. A billionnaire is very happy over his accomplishment, someone who has a store is as well very pleased at his or her own accomplishment. Goals are different, means of achieving them are different however one common thing will be the ability to achieve the goals and be filled with a genuine feeling of fulfillment and accomplishment and this is the part we can point out that each person has a purpose to fulfill, fulfilling the purposes is all that makes an individual experience abundant happiness and peace.

“Every creature lives to serve a purpose, you feel pains because you have not discovered yourself nor your purpose. To live a happy life, you need to uncover your cover, understand the deep meaning of life which is proportional to discovering yourself and the Infinite Being known as God. Our success and happiness depend largely on our level of awareness of the Creator”_The Universe.

Now let’s talk about Passion and Ambition.

Steve Jobs once said, “people with passion can change the world for the better”.

When I say passion, I mean the “strong feeling of enthusiasm or excitement for something or about doing something” – Merriam-Webster Dictionary.

Ambition on the other hand is something that a person hopes to do or achieve. You can always develop your passion and turn it into an ambition but first, you need to:

Understand yourself, ask yourself questions like “WHO AM I?”,” WHAT EXCITES ME?”, “WHAT DO I WANT?”, “WHAT DO I NEED?”, etc. (It is important to know the difference between what you want and what you need.)

You also need to know the things you are not comfortable with – if something doesn’t settle right with you, find another. If you continue on a path with little or no comfort, you might end up being miserable about it.

Find something you are passionate about and make it your ambition. Do this with confidence because without confidence how will you show people who you are and what you can do?

Pursuing and achieving this will make you self-actualized which is a key part of development. Thank you for reading, to engage in exercises that will help to discover and develop yourself. You should  join ProInSafe Leadership And Community Youth (PLACY) Club. Good decision for taking your time to read this information, do yourself more favor of striving to apply the knowledge you have gained from here.

 

The connection between health and wealth

The connection between health and wealth

The connection between Health and Wealth.

Health they say is wealth. Nothing can be more factual. Imagine suffering from an headache, stomach disorder, menstrual cramp or depressive moods and in fact these are not serious conditions, yet they are capable of making us be less productive.

Therefore we must achieve an optimal state of wellbeing to function effectively. We must invest in our health, take preventive measures, go for occasional if not regular check ups and of course promptly visit hospital or simply seek health intervention when we observe any form of health challenge.

Don’t wait till the symptoms escalate before you seek intervention. This will not only make you experience rapid recovery, it will as well save you cash. The more serious the illness has become, the more you will spend on the treatment. There are different forms of health challenges; psychological and medical; while the former sometimes is the precursor of the latter, many people take their psychological well-being for granted.

They keep nagging about life and their wellbeing because they lack an insight into the exact problem, sometimes they do, yet they refuse to take proactive measure, which is to visit a counsellor or psychologist. People need to change this orientation to enjoy a quality life and to reach their full potential.

Once there is imbalance within, it surfaces as painful symptoms. To live a happy and healthy life, we must regulate our inner functioning, both our physiological and psychological homeostatic level must be balanced, once that happens we experience sound well-being. The most effective way to regulate our psychological functioning is by maintaining an optimal consciousness, by intentionally and always focusing our thoughts on the present moments, by getting rid of all thoughts that negate the present moments, by carefully watching/observing our thoughts, monitoring our feelings and regulating our actions to match with the current flow of thoughts and feelings.

Once we gain solid control of ourselves this way, we make productive decisions, engage in fruitful actions and live a purposeful life. We no longer live in the past, nurture destructive emotions (resentment, jealousy, anger, regrets etc) nor exhibit dire actions. Our health promptly ameliorates and our abundant wealth becomes a reality.

When our minds and souls are fed with the right thoughts and information, our and pockets/bank accounts proportionally grow abundantly. Our souls, minds and pockets are outstandingly enriched simultaneously

You need this Principle to discover your purpose and live a productive life.

You need this Principle to discover your purpose and live a productive life.

You need to read this if you seek to discover your purpose and be more productive…

LAMP principle is an effective set of techniques to help people live a purposeful and productive life.

The greatest achievement of life is to understand exactly what your purpose is, in this world of so many controversies, news, stories, lifestyles and all. It is amazing to realize that each person has a specific purpose tasked by the Universe. The most successful people in this world have one thing in common, they all live a purposeful life. They discovered why they exist, live that purpose which obviously adds meaning and significance to their lives. This gives them happiness, fulfillment, fame, riches and all the amazing things  the world can offer. To be like or better than that icon, great leader, business tycoon, legend, you have always adored, you need to live a purposeful life.

It is one thing to have a purpose, it is another (which is the most vital) to discover the purpose. When we mention purpose, it simply means the reason of your existence, your responsibilities, the role you exist to play to complete the circle of the universe. Discovering our purpose can seem herculean but nothing is sweeter and more interesting than living a life that’s dedicated to understanding why we breathe, why we were born and why we exist.

All you need to know is the How! Many of us often consciously and unconsciously question ourselves, what is my purpose? How do I discover my purpose? All these questions are very vital, more vital than life itself. If you live and there is no purpose for such life, the feeling is synonymous to being dead because you are overwhelmed with the feeling of emptiness that you feel lifeless, useless and tired all the time.

This usually is a major causal factor of mental distress and in fact physical sickness. Read on to understand more on how you can discover your purpose, develop yourself and be more productive.

The rapid way to discover your purpose and live a  more productive life is through adopting the following techniques that have been summarized to be LAMP.

1. Learning: As stated earlier, it seems difficult discovering who you are and your purpose because you don’t know how to. First step is reading this present blog. Learning is an endless process. Therefore don’t limit your learning to four walls of classes, exam preparations, school books etc. Read widely, be open minded, explore various fields, focus on yourself and decide what captures your interests more. Read self development books, attend seminars, speak to learned people, psychologists and others who you know are capable of impacting unto you a meaningful knowledge. Learn from others’ stories and experiences to help you easily navigate your journey too. Each person’s journey differs but it often requires same attitude to discover and embark on the journey.

2. Application: Knowledge without an evidence of it is useless and in fact detrimental. Every knowledge holds a space in the mind, if not put into fruitful use, it takes up the space for no reason and more painfully it causes anxiety. The reason is that your whole body has received a signal of a significant information but if you don’t put it to use then your neural system reacts negatively to the entire information. Like punishing you for knowing the right thing but not doing it. Reading a book on how to cook will not automatically imbibe the skills in you, until you apply the information. You get your hands on the kitchen utensils and food stuffs then make efforts to actually cook.

Once you learn that it is important to read to learn, you won’t magically learn until you adopt the knowledge by actually reading. If you learn that over thinking leads to anxiety, you will get rid of anxiety only if you adopt the knowledge and stay away from over thinking. You must apply the knowledge, practically adopt the principles and rules then you will observe progress. You can’t be a millionaire just by reading millionaire mindset book until you act out the knowledge. Let there be strong mutual connection between your sensory and motor system. Motor system is responsible for practical actions, body movements while sensory system is concerned with the input, taking in the information. As stated, its not enough to take in the information, its more important to act out the information.

Complement your learning with the application of the information then you will surely experience rapid progress and abundant success…Rukayyah Rahman

3.Mindfulness: This is very important and cuts across the whole process, because it symbolizes your keen attention, full concentration and focus. We will discuss more on mindfulness in one of our subsequent posts. But we will briefly discuss it here to make the point concerning how to be more productive. Once you are mindful, you are more responsive and energetic. Your body, mind and soul are awakened and ready to receive divine messages from the Universe. At this stage, you will be compelled to do only what is right and relevant. You will be able to listen and yield to the voice of the soul which has all the information we need to grow as human beings and of course discover our purpose and be more productive. It resonates our soul with the Universe. It gives us peace and improve our memory system. Being mindful fuels our passion, inspires us more to act now! There is a sense of urgency and responsibility when we are mindful.  We are able to set our goals, plan effectively and consistently, consequently we get to fulfill our purposes upon discovery of the purposes.

4. Practice: This is similar to applying the knowledge mentioned above but a bit more. Here, you have to be steady with the principle 2 which is applying your knowledge to real life situations. If you read about how to improve your memory system, your memory system will get improved only when you apply the knowledge, not just once but continuously till you master it and it has become a habit. It is stated that it takes 21 days to form a particular habit so this is a bonus knowledge, that is, you have to keep practising for a couple of days, your brain adjusts to this reality and you are conditioned to keep up with the habits. All of our behaviors today were formed through conditioning and persistent practice. We can get rid of all unfavorable attitudes, all we need is mindfulness, determination and constant practice. With the right knowledge and constant practice you will be more productive and continue to gradually uncover and live your purpose.

You need to understand that its a gradual process, the discovery and fulfillment are a lifetime journey but you need to ensure at every phase there is a fruitful outcome, hold on, keep it up, be fierce and fearless, you will keep growing and you will continue to progress in your journey of your discovery and achievements. LAMP is the secret of all the great leaders. They keep learning, apply their knowledge, adopt mindfulness and continue practising by repeating the cycle over and over again.

 

INTERVIEW WITH EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR OF PROINSAFE

INTERVIEW WITH EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR OF PROINSAFE

Interviewer: Hello miss, please can we meet you?

Rukayya: Yes. I am Rukayyah Abdulrahman, the executive director of ProInSafe, an SDG advocator, mental health advocator and trainee. Most importantly, I am a reflection of God’s divine light.

Interviewer:  Wow! So please tell us, what is going on here today?

Rukayya: We are official launching ProInSafe. This event is all about publicizing ProInSafe in Kwara State. We  are creating awareness about this great innovative organization for entrepreneurs and many others to benefit therefrom.

Interviewer: Can you tell us a little about ProInSafe?

Rukayyah: ProInSafe is fully known as Promoting Internet Safety. ProInSafe is a Nigerian innovative organization that exists to promote cyber security, credible businesses and empower the youths in order to encourage innovations and foster an all-inclusive development. ProInSafe validates businesses, generate codes for businesses that are found credible to easily convince their online potential consumers of their credibility. ProInSafe is dedicated to ensure that credible businesses thrive, youths are supported to be self reliant and self actualized and to ensure that risks of cyber crime are mitigated. Through our educative and inspiring blogs, we also enlighten youths. We have seasoned staff who facilitate our operations. We also have an official website where our major services are rendered. In addition to this, ProInSafe also renders business development consultancy services, advertisement and also provide mentorship to youths and start-ups. ProInSafe is a concrete solution developed to promote internet safety and credible businesses.

Interviewer: How does your empowerment work?

Rukayya: To facilitate our operations which includes mitigating risks of cyber crimes. We incorporated ProInSafe Empowerment Projects where we provide necessary resources and support to youths and start ups. Currently we are working on a project called PLACY Club where we gather secondary school students to imbibe in them effective leadership qualities, train them to discover and develop their potentials and talent to be more productive and become great leaders. This also involves exploiting their potentials, engaging them in various services to facilitate sustainable community and national development.

Interviewer: Thank you. Please can you share with us your favorite motivational words?

Rukayya: (Smiles) Well, I have many, I will share the ones that come to mind at the moment. The most beautiful thing in life is to be the reason for others’ happiness and smiles. Being selfless is the fastest road to greatness.  Be the change you like to observe in the world, life is a reflection of who you are. Keep learning to keep soaring. You will face obstacles but they are voices of the divine telling you to keep moving ‘cos you’re almost there at the beautiful destination destined for the fearless and courageous ones like you. We all have a purpose to fulfill until we discover and fulfill it, before we experience absolute bliss and peace we wholeheartedly crave. I try to live these words, walk my talks and nothing pacifies me more. More so preaching what I practise is easier than practising what I preach, therefore it is amazing that my actions match with my words and that inspires constructive changes in other people as well. Oops! Sorry, I had to say this much (smiles)

 

 

INSPIRING SELF-DEVELOPMENT COACHING BY DR ABDULRAZAQ ONIYE (FROM UNIVERSITY OF ILORIN) AT PROINSAFE LAUNCHING EVENT

INSPIRING SELF-DEVELOPMENT COACHING BY DR ABDULRAZAQ ONIYE (FROM UNIVERSITY OF ILORIN) AT PROINSAFE LAUNCHING EVENT

INSPIRING SELF-DEVELOPMENT COACHING BY DR ABDULRAZAQ ONIYE (FROM UNIVERSITY OF ILORIN) AT PROINSAFE LAUNCHING EVENT

Permit me to stand on the well established protocol, I greet ProInSafe team, the distinguished guests and all the people that are seated here today. Good evening to everyone.  I am invited to discuss self-development. Self development basically helps us to become more aware of our talents, potentials and help to bring to the fore issue of human capital development. This awareness facilitates employability and ensures that we are able to contribute to personal and national development.

Self-development involves steps taken to discover/identify your talents, strengths and other attributes that will help you to fulfil your purpose in this life because obviously we all are existing to fulfil certain purpose. Many people are unable to progress in life because of their inability to identify their talents, some people are gifted in writing, some have oratory power, when they talk you are mesmerized and amazed.

You must identify various areas you are talented, is it writing, statistics, entrepreneurship, sport, speaking etc. Self development implies you know your talents.  Closely related to that is the issue of potential, we all do not have the same potentials. That’s why some people thrive in a particular field of endeavors and others do not. That is why today some people going to school and always fail, because they do not necessarily have business in the academic field they are studying, everyone wants to attain first, second, third degrees because others are doing that when the person is meant to focus on entrepreneurship. As a result he will be wasting his resources; time, money and energy at school and they will be marking him there as a failure.

Some people have failed jamb consecutively that they can already predict jamb questions. These people can easily tell that these questions were asked three years ago and won’t be set until next year. The reason for this is because they have written jambs so many times but they keep failing, or maybe they did pass but didn’t just gain admission into the university, meanwhile they were so determined to go to university not so that they can gain advanced knowledge to be productive but because of societal expectations.

Whereas if such person had discovered his/her potential, he/she would not have so much stressful experience. Some students spend more fruitless years than expected in school or in a particular learning institute because they are yet to discover their talents. They are then perceived as failures by people around them. Some people are destined to be in school, attain all forms of degrees yet they hardly have something valuable to show for it simply because they are not self-developed. Some people only stick to the information taught in school, this way, they do not meet up with standards. We must have those attributes that reflect self development to benefit more from all forms of education we acquire. Some people are punctual and faithful to their studies but still do not perform optimally as a result of lack of self-development.

Self development implies that you just a take a step, lay a significant foundation (discover your potentials) for further development, continue to improve yourself and  progress to be the best you can be. Not all of us must attain second degrees, we may all have first degrees because obviously education is required to fully operate in the society, but not all of us will get second degrees. And if we all obtain second degree, all of us won’t obtain doctorate degree. The most important thing is to discover the innate potentials, that’s very crucial to the issue of self-development. I commend the organizers of this program for coming up with such crucial topic; self-development. Nigeria has many problems because many people within the country are not self-developed.

The second thing to discuss is “what potentials have you?” You need to think about how you will develop your potentials to be able to establish an organization of your own so that you can employ others. Don’t think just about being employed. Imagine everyone thinks of being employed, that means we will have no employers, no organization, no investment, how do we then work to survive? Therefore to sustain the economy of the country, more people must think about creating employment and not just about being employed.

In those days, we had just University or Ilorin in Kwara state, now there are more than four universities within Kwara state. More potential employees are being created, this is a reason each person must be well developed to be self-reliant, self employed and also provide opportunities for others to be employed. In addition, technological advancement today is getting people out of jobs, it is contributing to reduction in the need for human labor, that is, job vacancies are very few.

In those days it would take about few days before getting pictures from photographers, they will give you the negative copies and ask you to later come back for the hard copy. But now all those things have gone into extinction, photographers nowadays have very few or no room for employment. In those days, post office was very relevant because people would post letters to communicate with their loved ones that are distant. The post office hardly matters anymore upon the arrival of handsets, laptops etc. which means many people working there must have lost their jobs. In fact, motor parks do not get enough passengers anymore relative to those days because people can easily communicate (have meetings etc) through mobile phones, and other communication gadgets instead of travelling to places.

Instead of taking taxi to your aunt’s place, you can easily make a phone call of just 5 naira to confirm if she’s around, if she says no, you will save up the money (about 50 or 100 naira) and time to go to her house and still be disappointed by her absence. All these innovations are evidence of some people’s self development. We can see the latter is very vital to the community, societal and national development.

We have discussed talents, potentials, acquisition and diversification. Acquisition is going to school to learn how to read, write, learn numeracy, and acquire other basic knowledge required to fit into the society. The beginning of self development is learning how to diversify. Diversification involves acquiring and developing your skills and potentials. Which implies that today you cannot rejoice over having just a skill, things are changing, the world is evolving. If you only have certificate without acquiring another relevant skill, if the field you have its certificate becomes redundant, then count yourself jobless. If you have no skill you can sell, what can employers buy from you. So you need to diversify.

Dr Oniye presents self-development coaching at ProInSafe Launching

Dr AbdulRazaq Oniye self-development coaching at ProInSafe Launching

Now I will be rounding up by mentioning some tips for your self-development. To be self-developed we need to do a number of things some of which include:

  1. You must ensure that you are focused on self-improvement. Improve yourself, read outside classroom. Don’t limit your knowledge to what you are taught by your teachers/lecturers.
  2. Individual Growth: If you have first degree, be focused on acquiring a skill relevant to developing your potentials. Note that, you need to consider your potentials before acquiring a skill. If you don’t have the potential, you will be tagged a failure during the course of the training and after the training.
  3. Team work: I like the drama presented by the youngsters (PLACY Club members), the young girl who was the business woman was selling on her own but was making very low sales, by the time she exchanged ideas with the other young boy (who was the distributor), she learned some tactics which helped to grow her business. If you are doing it all alone without a team work and input of other people, you will experience low or no progress. You must learn to do team work.
  4. You must be productive. This is internet era, when you go online be focused on your needs and how you can use the internet to gratify your needs. If you are going online to search for a topic, do just that to the exclusion of everything else. Don’t be distracted by Facebook. If you did not go online to browse Instagram, don’t let Instagram distract you. If you are not online to tweet, don’t let twitter distract you. If you are not focused, you can be online for 8 hours, wasting your MB, your time and energy without achieving a significant goal. You will start checking your social media messages, surfing the net etc and you will still appear busy, busy doing nothing. Be focused, be determined, be mindful and be proactive
  5. Giving Back: A self-developed person must learn to give back to the society. That is the time to reflect your self development, a self developed person is not just busy with him/herself alone. Your self development should inspire you to engage in one or two projects that can benefit the life of others. Like this ProInSafe seminar, everyone here today paid no entrance fee before they can get free access to valuable lectures and information necessary to develop them psychologically and to develop their skills. Certainly acquiring and applying these skills will help them to be more productive. Therefore ProInSafe team has benefited the lives of people here today. That is the way to go as self developed individuals.
  6. Develop your communication skills: To go far in life you must work on your communication skills. Some people are enriched with sound knowledge and talents but they lack expression. They lack quality and meaningful expression. Some people are not welcomed at official meetings because of their lack of presentation despite their rich knowledge and experience. Their knowledge is wasteful and not yet adequate because they have not acquired the knowledge and skills of effective communication. Don’t beat about the bush, be detailed but precise. Improve on your communication skills.
  7. You need to work on your relationship: Some of us have good networks but we don’t exploit them fruitfully. Some people went to school, they made friends but don’t know the value of friendship. Some of your classmates are daughters and sons to valuable people yet you cannot tap into these resources. You have hundreds of friends on social media who are adding no value to you. Ask yourself, how many of your acquaintances can be helpful/useful in reaching your own destination. Work on your network, constructive ones. That’s what I mean by building your relationships.
  8. Be a leader of yourself: You need to be a good follower to be a good leader. Learn to control yourself and be disciplined that when you set out your goals you commit yourself to the achievement of those goals. Learn to obey and believe in yourself.
  9. Be Creative : You need to be creative in the course of developing yourself. While developing yourself, your creativity is improved. Innovation is important in this era. Some people are not better than you but they are well packaged. Some people sell locust beans, package it well and transport to other states. If you sell good products but your business lacks quality packaging, very few people or no one will patronize you. Some people package grounded pepper, garri etc and make greater sales compare to their competitors who do not package as such. Packaging is very key to someone who is intentional about self-development.
  10. Learn to cope with failure: Always understand that Rome was not built in a day. Look at this bulb (electricity) we all are benefiting from today was developed by a man, who failed about  a thousand times. It was after he tried a thousandth time that he was able to develop an inferior kind of bulb. The pioneering bulb has gone through so many alterations before we have nice modern bulb of today. Today we are using phones which are forms of computers, the very first set of computers are gigantic and are very limited and restricted, now we have very nice laptops, desktops etc. The first set of phones were also very huge (especially 3310 models of phones) that they tagged them “owo n ro mi” (Yoruba words for my hands ache) implying how big the phones were at the time. If you want to live and not make mistakes, it means you are not trying to be self-developed, nor are you making an impact, you are not even working nor taking any significant step at all.

Thank you!